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Between the Three of Us - Short Story

BETWEEN THE THREE OF US

by: Ryan Machado

Carlos arrives at the NAIA domestic airport first. He is never late. He hates meeting us, considered going home alone but I insisted that we should travel together. Waiting for us takes most of his precious time and yet he is always early. "If there were a law for being late, I'll personally sue you both," he greets us with a scowl but obviously pleased to see us. Jenny and me.

"You'll never be a lawyer, loser," I tell him in jest.

He dreamt of becoming a lawyer when he was a child. Admired Tito Ramon who was a frequent visitor at our house in Romblon, drinking tuba with Papang. Carlos liked to sit on Tito Ramons lap, nibbiling the oldies' pulutan while listening to adult discussions. But Papang would always shoo him away. You're not supposed to listen to this, Carlos. Go and play with your siblings. Jenny and me, always in time to see Papa driving Carlos away like a pest, were always on cue to tease him. He already wants to be an adult, Jenny would say sing-song, while Carlos pretended not to hear anything. No, he's dying to sip that tuba. He wants to follow Tito Ramon's footstep as a famous drunkard in town, Id snigger. Carlos was a good sport. Never cried with all the teasing from us. Never lost his temper on anyone too. Only cried when Tito Ramon died one summer from heart attack. He died from too much alcohol, I told Carlos who wailed as if Tito Ramon was the best thing to him, which would have probably been the case. It took us a week to get Carlos back to his usual self. Jenny asked me in a careful whisper why I didnt look sad at all while the coffin was being lowered. I cant feel sorry for someone who never liked me. Truth was, I hated Tito Ramon for paying more attention to Carlos.

Carlos answers me  with a grin which I reciprocated with a silly make-face reminiscent of Mr Bean's. It amuses him so much he gets a hiccup that makes Jenny roll her eyes. "You're both pathetic." She pretends, hiding her face with her left hand, as if embarrassed in our stupid antics, the ring in her finger glitters. It's real diamond, she boasted three months ago, waving her hand like a beauty contestant. Boyfriend the nth gave it to her as a sign of love but even Jenny herself considers it bull. You're just too gullible to believe that a man can take you seriously, I said. Before I could realize it was a bad joke, Jenny was fast on the uptake, slapped me hard on my arm. She refused to talk to me for a month. Only spoke to me again when Boyfriend the Nth broke up with her. I bought her a lot of leche flan, her all-time favourite and we ate to our hearts content in my apartment until we felt bloated. I was happy.

"What time's our flight?" Jenny asks, looking at the monitor that shows local flight schedules, her arms akimbo like a model in a photo-shoot.

"I'll tell you when you sit down," I tell her. I feel dizzy with her moving to and fro. She doesn't like to sit because, according to her, it looses her composure. "Sharon Stone is still sexy in Basic Instinct, with her legs crossed and no panty underneath," I reasoned out. She called me an incurable perv.

"We could have taken the ship, you know" she says, still ogling at the screen. People around us, especially men, are looking at her like an interesting item on display. I grab her arm and pull her down, which earns me a hard slap at the back. This is what I don't like being with Jenny. She can hurt you physically. Carlos smirks and shakes his head. He still doesn't get why Jenny and I act the way we do. Among the three of us, Carlos is the mature guy. Hijo responsable, Mamang told him a million times. He only messes around if Jenny and I force him to. Come on Carlos, youre no fun. But he never scolds us, being the eldest, even if we give him permission to be an hijo responsable. Carlos, you're no hijo responsable, spank Jenny she's shouting bad words. Good Carlos would just giggle.

"Not your choice, really. Remember how you complained about the stench oozing from those passengers luggage?"

"That's eons ago already, idiot," she retorted, massaging her hand. We used to travel by sea when we were in college because plane was a luxury we couldnt afford. Jenny would give every excuse she could think of just to evade the thrice-in-a-year rule (summer, semestral break, Christmas) to come home. She was afraid of sharks and the sea. No going home, no allowance was Papang's policy. But you can visit us in Manila, Papang, Jenny pleaded but Papang said no, they're old to be travelling much. One time, we couldn't force Jenny to go home during sem break despite the threat Carlos and I invented. Papang told us you'll be transferred to a shabby college in the province if you stayed here all by yourself. But she wouldn't budge. Leave me alone, I don't care! Kicked and threw everything within her reach. Like a lunatic. Carlos was afraid she had gone mad. Sh'es just drunk, worrywart. Two bottles of beer were splayed on the floor. You're unfair, Jenny. Why didn't you invite us?

"So you think you've changed?" I challenge her scornfully.

"I miss you both," Carlos butts in, beaming, right in time before an unpleasant banter ensues between me and Jenny. His face is all red, like his favourite ham Mamang used to prepare during breakfast. The cold Swedish weather seems to do wonder on his skin.

Jenny and I go silent for a moment. Elephant room, I remember Papang saying once. Our old man was big on metaphors. Used them a lot in his novels. Is Papang a good writer? I asked Mamang when we were alone in the kitchen. Mamang was always in the kitchen. I was eight, flipping the dusty pages of Romblon Maiden, one of Papang's unpublished novels. Of course he is. She must have been Papang's number one fan. But I don't find his novels interesting. They're horrendous. Mamang laughed beside herself. Where are you getting these big words? She thought for a moment while fiddling the ladle fondly. The smell of sinigang na bangus made my stomach growl. Maybe, you're a better writer than Papang so why don't you make your own novel so that I can tell which of you are a better novelist. That's how I began my writing stint. Jenny and Carlos became my first literary critics. Awful critics. You're an idiot; fishes don't talk. Neither do trees. Carlos wouldn't say anything bad. I like Mister Bangus, thats all.

"What?" Carlos asks, puzzled and bemused with our expressions and the uncomfortable silence. I look at Jenny and blurt out with an utmost disgust I can show, "What's wrong with him?" The truth is I also miss Carlos but theres no way I will tell that openly the way he does. He's always been away from us. Left the country after college to pursue his masters degree in Sweden. But you can study Anthropology in UP Diliman, I argued when he told us about his plan. I want to experience other culture, he explained vaguely. Rarely came home since then. I bet he loves Swedish meat balls. He writes me long letters which I stuff in my cabinet, unread. Old fashioned, that's him. Refuses to use email. Part of me hates him for leaving us. We're supposed to be always together. Because thats what brothers and sisters should be. Together. Always.

"I miss you too, Carlos," Jenny responds haphazardly. "You're just heartless," she turns to me. I know that Jennys just kissing Carlos' ass because Jenny does that all the time but it annoys me just the same. Reality bites, Mamang used to say. We know, Mamang, we know. Papang said Mamang was big on cliches. I love cliches, Jenny would say, because I love Mamang. Then she'd kiss Mamang and delighted, easy-to-please Mamang would prepare her famous leche flan espesyal (You're a pimp, Jenny!) which Jenny would willingly share with us (You're still a pimp, Jenny).

"So, how are you, Jen?" Carlos is beaming more than ever, clearly satisfied with Jennys attention, eager to start a lively discussion. A lawyer wannabe, he dabbled in discourses ever since. Excelled in rhetorical contests and bagged home medals in debate competitions. When the three of us were together, he'd pluck topics from the air, spark an interesting premise that got Jenny and I fascinated and wed camp in the front yard till the wee hours of night arguing, sometimes at the top of our voices that woke Papang and Mamang who thought we're fighting.   

This Jen business starts to get under my skin. As far as I can remember, nobody calls Jenny Jen. It has always been Jenny. Jenny the cry-baby, Jenny the brat, Jenny the sensitive loon. This is the part where I feel I'm being left out. Jenny and Carlos with their own set of secrets and codes. Those fleeting looks toward each other that mean something, careful enough not to be caught, whispers and giggles in Papangs library, little sobs and hushed voices, but I heard them nonetheless, caught them unawares.

"I'm fine," she answers, catching my eyes in a threatening way. Carlos and I know very well what that look means - Dont tell him. It's the same look she shot us when she had done something awful. Flunked two major courses in Mass Comm. Caught sleeping in mens dorm in UP Diliman. Spent her whole semesters allowance in marijuana. Among other things.

"You've been away, Carlos, you have no idea whats happened to us, "I say. From my peripheral view, I can see Jenny fidget. Jenny surely takes it as a bad sign. She's always terrible with secrets. You have to promise that no one will know, she begged while snot and tear smeared her face. A reminiscent of a Star Cinema movie Jenny, a distraught Claudine Barreto in a Rajo Laurel attire. You little bitch, why did you let that pathetic boyfriend of yours impregnate you? I was Johnny Delgado flaring up, sans spits showering everywhere. We hate drama to begin with yet our lives don't get spared with melodrama people usually see on TV. There are deadly secrets, indestructible villains, and fallen heroes. 

"Maybe you're right but hey, Ive come back," he grins at me but I don't grin back.

"Yeah, and your'e leaving again in two, three days?" I cried hard when Carlos left to Sweden four years ago. The saddest moment in my life so far. Hey, look at you, yo'ure crying. That's some achievement, Carlos said, patting my back, trying to free himself from my breath-shortening embrace. The harder he tried to let go, the tighter I clang to him. We're supposed to be together, I told him. My sobbing sounded like I have lost my older brother forever. Jenny was either crying or laughing because I was bawling like a child, it was hard to tell. I'll be visiting you soon, I promise. Sure he did, after a year with an interesting Swedish friend. This is Hans, my classmate in Sweden. It turned out Hans wasn't just a classmate. H'es Carlos first boyfriend. Anak ng bading! I was furious at Carlos I never read his letters from then on. Youre unfair, you know, Carlos called overseas because I wasn't answering his letters. I thought you'd understand. I never told about Hans to anybody but you. Not even Jenny, Mamang or Papang.

He peruses something from his bag and takes out a book. "This is for you. To complete your collection."

Mr. Sammler's Planet. A Saul Bellow book. My room in the province is full of books. Dusty books. Tattered books. Dog-eared books. They make my room look like a garage but I dont throw them away. Papang suggested putting them in his library. No, I want to have my own library, I firmly told him. But nobody will take care of them, he explained. Mamang will, wont you Mamang? Mamang never said no to anything. Of course, hijo, of course.

"Where's mine?" Jenny asks, handing out her palm. Hers is a red scarf. She excitedly puts it around her neck, waving away the strands of hair at the other side of her shoulders. She stands in front of us, turns around like a ballerina. "Well? "

"Fits you well. Youre beautiful as ever, Jen," Carlos observes. Deadly, that''s what her beauty is. Sinful and tempting. You are so pretty, anak, the women in our neighborhood unanimously agreed. A lot of men will go crazy after you someday. They wanted her to be the Reyna Elena in the Santacruzan. We don't believe in Santacruzan, Papang would refuse politely to the town fiesta committee who was always asking Papangs permission every year to let Jenny show her beauty to everyone. Her brothers will be her escorts naman, they would insist. I'd throw Carlos a malicious look, Yeah, we're saintly escorts while Jenny scowled. My boys don't know how to be escorts. Papang was wrong. Carlos and I were Jenny's valiant armors protecting her from boys - the outside forces. Leave Jason alone, you morons, he has done nothing wrong. Jason, that scrawny, specky kid in high school went home scared as hell after we let Bantay out of its cage. Don't be stupid, Jenny. He's a perv. He only wants to suck your tits. Jennys adolescence started way earlier than us. But I want my tits to be sucked. Much like you two want your dicks to be sucked. Carlos being the prude one laughed the hardest.

 "And I'm handsome as ever, indi bala, Carlos?" I simper. Jenny, looking revolted, frowns and mutters something indistinct that sounds like Eww.

" Hans thinks you are," Carlos answers, looking away. 

 "What, youre pimping me to him?" I fume rather falsely. Carlos smile vanishes. Something is wrong, thats' for sure. And this is where my panic comes in. Jennys pain, Carlos pain, they're part of my system.

 "They've broken up," Jenny hisses to me, making sure she is out of earshot of Carlos, who pretends not hearing us. Weird images flash in my mind when Im shocked. Mamangs leche flans espesyal soaked in tuba, Bantay choking up from Swedish meatballs, dusty books and Mister Bangus conversing stealthily in Papangs library. A kaleidoscope of the past that continues to haunt me in the present.

 


  • Posted
  • 5/5/2009 9:08:40 PM
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